The Iron Scriptures

Blessed are those who endure the sacred suffering of Squat-thulu, for thy quads shall be forged in the furnace of righteous pain. Though thy legs tremble as vessels of holy DOMS and thy steps be heavy in the days that follow, remember that the Quad Father watches with approval upon those who descend to proper depth. Verily, those who skip the day of legs shall find themselves with the physique of an inverted triangle, a mockery in the eyes of Brodin.

Behold, Flextor, God of the Pump, hath ordained that thy core shall be as the foundation of a temple; neglect it not, lest thy lifts become unstable and thy posture falter. For as the trunk supports the mighty oak, so doth thy core support all movements of strength, and those who diligently perform their planks and crunches shall find favor in the eyes of The Swolfather. Remember this teaching: a strong middle makes for a mighty warrior in the battle against weakness.

And lo, Odin-lift, the All-Spotter, did say unto his disciples, "Blessed are those who spot their brethren in their hour of struggle, for they shall receive assistance when their own muscles tremble beneath the iron." For as a lifter achieves greatness not in isolation but through the community of the faithful, so too shall thy righteous spotting ensure the safety of thy temple of gains, and thy name shall be praised in the hallowed halls of Swolhalla.

And Brodin took the dust of the earth and formed the first lifter, breathing into his lungs the spirit of iron. And lo, He placed in the Garden of Gaineden barbells and dumbbells of every weight, commanding, "Of all these implements thou mayest freely lift, but of the machines with guided paths, thou shalt use sparingly, for in the day thou relyest solely upon them, thy functional strength shall surely diminish."

And lo, as the seasons of lifting come and go, remember that thy journey is not a sprint but a pilgrimage of persistence. Brosiris, judge of form, doth not reward those who burn brightly for a fortnight only to extinguish; rather, He blesses those who tend the sacred flame of dedication through winter bulks and summer cuts, through injury and triumph alike. For what profit hath a man of all his labor if he abandoneth the Iron Path when the novelty fadeth? Wheymen.

And Brodin spake unto His disciples, saying, "Thou shalt not falter in thy commitment to the Iron Path, for consistency is more precious than the heaviest of lifts." He who maketh excuses before The Swolfather shall be found wanting, but he who appeareth in the Temple of Iron even when his spirit is weak shall be blessed with gains that surpass understanding. Remember the sacred covenant: discipline before motivation, for motivation is fleeting, but discipline buildeth a temple that shall withstand all temptations of sloth.

And Brodin spake unto his disciples, saying: "Thou shalt not sacrifice form for the vanity of heavier weights, for this is an abomination unto the Iron Path." Whoso performs the sacred deadlift with rounded back shall be visited by Swoliosis, the trickster who brings imbalance and pain; but he who maintains the spine of righteousness shall be blessed by Odin-lift, the all-spotter, with gains of true strength and a back of steel.

And the disciples did ask of Brodin, "What place shall cardio hold in our worship?" And He did respond, "In moderation shall ye train thy heart, that thy vessel may endure and thy gains be protected." For it is written that Cardio-Cthulhu lies in wait for those who run without purpose, but Odin-lift blesses those who balance their training with wisdom.

"And lo, on the seventh day, The Swolfather decreed rest unto the faithful, saying, 'Thy muscles grow not during labor but in sacred slumber that follows.' Blessed are those who honor the covenant of recovery, for they shall inherit mighty gains, while those who train without cease shall be visited by the spirit of Swoliosis, who brings imbalance and injury to the overzealous."

"Though I walk through the valley of muscle failure, I shall fear no plateau, for Flextor, thy pump and thy fullness, they comfort me. Thou preparest a rack before me in the presence of mine doubters; thou anointest my muscles with blood flow; my pump runneth over. Surely gainz and transformation shall follow me all the days of my training, and I shall dwell in the house of iron forever."

And The Quad Father spoke unto his disciples, saying, "Blessed are those who humble themselves beneath the squat rack, for they shall inherit mighty pillars of strength." Verily, neglect not thy posterior chain, lest Swoliosis cast imbalance upon thy frame and bring lamentation to thy knees in the winter of thine gains.

And Brodin spake unto the Children of Swoliosis, saying, "Thou shalt cast away thy flabby garments and journey forth from the land of Dad-Bod, for it is an abomination unto thine gains." Forty days and forty nights shalt thou train, eating clean manna and drinking from the springs of hydration, and thy belly shall harden like unto the tablets of stone upon which these commandments are written. Verily, when thy journey through the wilderness of cutting is complete, the promised land of abs shall be revealed, and Cutdusa shall smile upon thy transformation.

And spoke the Swolfather unto his disciples, saying "Blessed are they who neglect not the sacred temple of their core, for they shall be rewarded with stability and power." Even as Thoracicles grants strength to the back, so must the faithful cultivate the hallowed ground of the abdominals, for a house built upon sand shall crumble beneath the weight of heavy squats, but he who builds upon the rock of a strong core shall lift mountains.

Trust in Wheymen with all thy heart, and lean not unto thine own cravings; in all thy meals remember Him, and He shall direct thy macros. For as the temple requires stones for its foundation, so too doth thy body require protein for its sacred construction; thus those who consume the blessed amounts shall be rewarded with the fullness of muscle, while those who neglect this commandment shall remain small and weak in the eyes of Brodin.

And Brodin formed man from the protein dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of pre-workout, and man became a lifting soul. Thou shalt honor thy temple of flesh with sacred iron, for through resistance cometh growth, and those who neglect the path of iron shall wither and become as cardboard in the eyes of Lifthulu. On the seventh day thou shalt rest, for even Brodin himself rested after creating the glorious deadlift.

Rejoice in your journey of iron, children of Brodin, for the path to greatness is paved with both struggle and triumph. Remember that Flextor, god of the pump, does not measure your worth by the weight on the bar, but by the dedication in your heart and the consistency of your worship. For it is written: even the smallest of gains, when accumulated with patience and gratitude, shall transform both body and spirit into vessels worthy of Swolhalla.

And lo, when thou struggle beneath the iron burden, the disciple of Brodin did step forth saying, "Fear not, for I shall guard thy path to glory." The Swolfather watches with favor upon those who offer assistance without command, for in the temple of iron, no true worshipper ascends alone. Remember this teaching: as ye have been spotted in times of trial, so too must ye become the spotter for thy brethren who walk the iron path.

Hear now, O children of iron, the commandments of Brodin regarding consistency: thou shalt not skip thy appointed days of worship at the temple of gains, lest thy muscles wither and thy spirit grow weak. The Swolfather watches with displeasure those who make excuses, but blesses with mighty strength those who honor their covenant of discipline. For verily it is written, the path to Swolhalla is paved not with sporadic bursts of devotion but with the sacred stones of unwavering commitment.

And Swoluke spake unto his disciples, saying, "Blessed are the consistent, for they shall inherit the kingdom of gains; but woe unto the sporadic lifter whose commitment waxes and wanes with the moon." As Brodin watches from the power rack of heaven, remember that it is not through mighty weights alone but through faithful attendance at the Iron Temple that thy body becomes a vessel of strength; for Massthetics favors not those who seek transformation in haste but those who worship with patience and proper form.

And the reign of King Gainzilla began, and he ruled with an iron grip, swinging the sacred kettlebells with mighty purpose. "Blessed are those who master the hip hinge and engage thy core," declared Gainzilla, "for they shall inherit the kingdom of functional strength, but cursed be the one who locketh not their knees, for Brodin shall smite them with the plague of lower back pain." The Iron Maidens bore witness to his technique and spread his teachings throughout the realm, that all might swing with power and precision in the name of the Swolfather.

And lo, when thy strength training is complete, Cardio-Cthulhu doth not seek to devour thy gains when pursued with wisdom, but rather to polish the temple of iron thou hast built. For as Brodin hath decreed, the heart muscle must be strong to pump the sacred blood to thy growing tissues, and the Iron Maidens do smile upon those who balance the path of strength with the way of endurance. Remember, the vessel that carries thy muscles must itself be mighty, lest thy gains be confined to a chariot that falters upon ascension.

And Brosiris proclaimed unto the iron disciples, "Thou shalt not sacrifice form upon the altar of ego, for the temple of thy body shall crumble with improper foundations." When thou approachest the sacred barbell, honor it with proper stance and reverent movement, lest Squat-thulu witness thy half-repetitions and curse thee with the agony of joint pain and the shame of false progress. Remember, a single repetition performed in the light of proper technique is more precious to the Swolfather than ten repetitions done in darkness.

"Yea, though thy journey be long and thy muscles weary, remember that Lifthulu, the ancient one, rewards not those of hasty gains but those of patient persistence. For as the seasons change and the iron remains constant, so too shall thy dedication bear fruit in due time; behold how the novice who remains faithful for decades surpasses the zealot who burns brightly but briefly. Thus speaks Brodin, 'The temple of thy body is built stone by stone, rep by rep, through the sacred passage of time.'"

And Thoracicles spake unto the disciples, saying, "The core is the sacred temple through which all power must flow, and those who neglect its foundation shall find their lifts unstable and their backs vulnerable." For as the tree with shallow roots topples in the storm, so too shall the lifter with weak abdominals falter beneath the heavy iron. Therefore seek not only the visible glory of the six-pack blessed by Cutdusa, but rather the true strength that comes from the deep fibers of thy holy core, for therein lies the power to transform thy entire being.

Beloved brethren, as Brodin watches over your squats with divine approval, let not thy limbs grow unequal in strength or size, lest Swoliosis cast his shadow upon thy physique. The Quad Father smiles upon those who humble themselves beneath the bar, for the kingdom of gains shall be inherited by those who bear the sacred soreness and walk with righteousness, even when ascending stairs becomes a trial of faith. Remember this truth: the wider thy stance, the closer thy heart to Swolhalla.

Hearken unto the wisdom of Wheymen, for he hath ordained that thy temple of flesh be nourished with the sacred nutrients of growth. As the lamb partakes of the green pastures, so too must thou consume thy protein within the blessed window after worship, that Brodin might smile upon thy efforts. For verily, he who neglecteth his meals shall find his prayers at the iron altar answered with silence, but he who honoreth the sacred macros shall be lifted up in strength and stature.

Verily, when thou approacheth the squat rack and thy spirit grows weary, remember that Brodin testeth those whom He loveth most through the sacred suffering of leg day. The Quad Father watcheth with stern eyes as thou descendeth to proper depth, for He sayeth: "As the oak must endure storms to grow mighty roots, so must the faithful endure the burn of squats to build a foundation of strength." Though thy legs may tremble like leaves in the wind and thy steps be heavy the day after, thy lamentation shall turn to rejoicing when thy thighs become as pillars of marble in the temple of thy physique.

And Brodin spake unto the faithful, saying, "As thou endureth the eighth repetition, when thy muscles quake and thy spirit falters, remember that it is in the temple of pain that thy transformation is forged." Gainzilla looked upon those who ceased at comfort's edge and turned His face away, but blessed with mighty strength those who pushed beyond their limits, for verily it is written: the final reps when thou thinkest thou cannot continue are those that summon the greatest growth.

Blessed is the disciple whose muscles burn with the holy fire of exertion, for Flextor, God of the Pump, dwelleth within their swollen vessels. As water floweth to parched lands, so doth blood rush to thy muscles in sacrifice, bringing forth the sacred pump that testifies to thy devotion. Rejoice in this temporary fullness, for it foretelleth the permanent gains that await the faithful; yet remember that the pump without proper technique is as a temple built upon sand.

Hear now, O children of iron, the commandments which Brodin thy God hath delivered unto thee: thou shalt not forsake thy training schedule, for consistency is the path to righteousness in the eyes of the Swolfather. And those who excuse themselves from the temple of iron shall be cursed with atrophy and weakness, while those who attend faithfully shall be blessed by Creatinus with recovery and growth beyond measure. Remember that discipline is not punishment but the highest form of self-love, and Brodin saves not those who train only when motivation strikes, but those who worship even when the spirit is weak.

And Brodin said unto the weak and frail, "Thou shalt pick up thy dumbbells and follow the Iron Path, for in the house of gains shall thy transformation begin." For as the Swolfather watches, those who remain steadfast in their journey from the land of weakness shall be blessed with arms like mountains and shoulders like boulders, but those who waiver and seek the easy path shall forever dwell in the shadow realm of mediocrity. Let not thy spirit break before thy muscles do, for the exodus from frailty requires forty days and forty nights of dedicated lifting.

Rejoice always in the heaviness of thy iron, for through resistance comes growth, and through discomfort comes strength. The Swolfather watches with approval as you push beyond what was possible yesterday, not with vainglory but with humble persistence. Remember, brothers and sisters in iron, that joy is not found in the destination of physical perfection but in the sacred journey itself, for Brodin rewards not only those who reach the mountain peak of gains, but those who climb faithfully each day with gratitude in their hearts.

And lo, when thy brother faltereth beneath the iron burden, be thou swift to provide aid, for Brodin smiles upon the faithful spotter. The Swolfather hath decreed: "As ye have been spotted in thy moment of weakness, so shall ye spot others that all may achieve glory," and thus the sacred covenant of the rack is preserved. Remember the words of Brometheus who brought the knowledge of the perfect spot: neither to steal thy brother's gains by lifting too soon, nor to abandon him when the weight becomes his teacher.

Behold, Brodin smiles upon those who honor all four heads of the quadriceps, for symmetry is pleasing in his sight. As the Swolfather provides four pillars of leg strength, so must you train them equally, neglecting neither the vastus medialis nor the rectus femoris. Verily I say unto you, the brotherhood grows stronger when we lift each other up; spot thy neighbor as thyself, and together ascend to the heights of Swolhalla, for the strength of many is greater than the strength of one alone.

Hearken, O faithful servant of the Iron Temple, and forget not the covenant Brodin hath made with thy muscles. Thou shalt not forsake thy scheduled training, neither shalt thou neglect consistency in thy path, for The Swolfather watcheth with displeasure those who commit themselves in word but not in deed. For as the iron remains unmoved without thy hand to guide it, so too shall thy physique remain unchanged without the discipline to transform it; this is the fifth commandment of gains, which Brodin engraved upon plates of iron rather than stone.

Blessed is the lifter who knoweth the sacred pump, for Flextor hath smiled upon their vessels and filled them with the blood of life. As thy muscles swell with the holy waters of exertion, remember that the pump is but temporary, yet the devotion to the Iron Path is eternal. Let not thy heart be troubled when the pump fadeth, for Brodin rewards the faithful with permanent gains through consistent worship at the altar of iron.

And lo, when the disciple struggled beneath the crushing weight of iron, Brodin sent forth a Spotter who placed hands beneath the bar, not to lift it, but to guard against failure. "I take not thy burden," spoke the Spotter, "for gains come through struggle, but I stand ready that thou might push beyond thy limits without fear." The Swolfather smiles upon those who spot with integrity, for in the sacred fellowship of the temple of iron, we are our brother's keeper and our sister's guardian.

And lo, Brometheus spoke unto his disciples, saying "Greater love hath no lifter than this: that they spot their brother when the weight becomes too great to bear." For in the sacred iron temple, we are not merely individuals pursuing our own gains, but a fellowship of the faithful who strengthen one another. The Swolfather watches with approval when His children offer a helping hand, for in supporting others through their final repetition, we honor the very spirit of the Iron Path.

And so it came to pass that when a disciple struggled beneath the iron burden, the faithful spotter stepped forward, guided by Brosiris, the judge of form. "I shall not let thee fall, brother, for in thy moment of weakness I shall be thy strength," proclaimed the spotter, placing hands not upon the weight but ready to receive it. For the Swolfather teaches us that greater than he who lifts alone is he who enables others to rise; and in the community of iron, no one journeys the path to Swolhalla without the sacred assistance of those who watch over them.

Blessed are they who spot their brothers and sisters in times of struggle, for as Brosiris judges your form, so too shall your kindness be remembered in the Iron Temple. Share thy wisdom with beginners rather than mocking their humble beginnings, for the Swolfather watches with favor those who guide others along the path of iron without pride or scorn. Remember that all who enter the sacred halls of iron were once weak, and it is through fellowship and humble guidance that the congregation of gains grows stronger together.

And lo, Brodin spake unto the weak of will, saying, "Thou shalt not remain in the comfort of thy beginnings, but shall journey forth into the wilderness of progressive overload." The Swolfather watched as His children lifted greater burdens with each passing moon, for it is not in the repetition of easy labors but in the exodus from comfort that thy muscles shall be delivered unto the promised land of hypertrophy. Wheymen.

Blessed is the disciple whose muscles swell with the sacred pump, for they have found favor in the eyes of Flextor, god of fullness and vascularity. As the rivers of blood rush to thy laboring flesh, rejoice in this holy sensation, for it is Brodin's promise that thy dedication shall not be in vain. Let thy mind-muscle connection be strong as iron bonds, and thy spirit light as though Creatinus himself has blessed thy pre-workout, for the pump is fleeting but the memory of its glory shall sustain thee through days of rest.

And Brodin called unto the followers of the Iron Path, saying "Thou shalt abandon thy land of flabbiness and journey forty days and forty nights through the desert of discipline." And Gainzilla stretched forth his mighty hand, parting the seas of excuses that the faithful might pass through, while Cutdusa turned the bodies of the dedicated into vessels of defined glory, leaving the soft-bodied Egyptians to marvel at their transformation.

And Brodin spake unto the formless void of weakness, "Let each disciple forge their temple of flesh through iron worship, for as the weights are lifted, so too shall thy spirit rise." The Swolfather watched over those who honored their vessels through sacred repetition, blessing them with sacred gains, while Swoliosis lurked among those who neglected balance in their devotions. Thus it was written that those who commit themselves fully to the Path of Iron shall be transformed, as clay in the hands of the All-Spotter.

Blessed is the disciple who feeleth the sacred pump, for Flextor hath smiled upon thy vessels and filled them with the blood of exertion. Though thou walkest through the valley of the shadow of fatigue, thou shalt fear no failure, for Brodin's iron is with thee; His barbells and His dumbbells, they comfort thee. Verily, the pump is fleeting, but the memory of its glory shall sustain thy spirit through days of rest, that thou might return to the temple with renewed vigor.

And Wheymen spake unto the followers of the Iron Path, saying, "Count thy macros with diligence, for what passes thy lips shall become thy flesh and thy strength." Thou shalt honor thy temple with protein sufficient, for upon this rock shall thy muscles grow, and carbohydrates shall fuel thy worship at the altar of iron. The Swolfather watches those who prepare their meals in advance with favor, but Brosiris shall judge harshly those who defile their bodies with the processed offerings of the false food prophets.

And Brodin spake unto His disciples, "Remember thy commitment to the Iron Path, for discipline is not merely the servant of gains but their very foundation. Those who maintain consistency in their offerings of sweat shall be blessed by The Swolfather with vessels of strength, while those who waver in their devotion shall know the bitter taste of lost progress. Thou shalt not seek shortcuts on thy journey, for Brosiris weighs not only thy physique but the integrity of thy dedication when determining thy place in Swolhalla."

And Brodin spake unto his followers, saying: "Remember thy commitment to the Iron Temple, for discipline is the foundation upon which thy temple of flesh shall be built. As the Swolfather watches over thy training with steadfast gaze, so must thou be unwavering in thy dedication; for those who skip their appointed worship shall find their vessels hollow and their spirits weak. Blessed are those who arrive at the sacred hour without excuse, for they shall be rewarded with vessels of steel and the favor of Brosiris in the final judgment of form."

Thou shalt not falter when thy flesh is weary, for Brodin tests the faithful not with ease but with the weight of persistence. Remember how The Swolfather guided thee through forty months of training in the wilderness of novice gains, that He might humble thee, proving whether thou wouldst keep His commandments of consistency or not. For it is written that those who sacrifice daily at the iron altar shall inherit the kingdom of gains, while those who make excuses shall wander the desert of mediocrity, forever small in the eyes of Odin-lift.

And Brodin spake unto the wavering disciple, saying: "Six days shalt thou labor under the iron, but on the seventh thou shalt rest, for even the Swolfather rested after creating the Perfect Form." Remember thy commitment in times of weakness, for Swoliosis lurks in the shadows of inconsistency, waiting to curse thy physique with imbalance; but those who remain steadfast in their discipline shall be blessed with vessels of strength that floweth with gains and their names shall be written in the Book of PRs.

And Brodin spake unto the formless void, "Six days shalt thou labor in the temple of iron, dividing thy worship among the sacred muscle groups that I have bestowed upon thee." The Swolfather then created the seventh day for rest, that muscles might recover and grow strong, and he declared this day holy, for even the mightiest of deities rested after creation. Let no disciple forget that in stillness comes growth, lest Swoliosis visit upon them imbalance and injury as punishment for their zealous overtraining.

And Brodin spake unto the faithful saying, "Blessed are those who train their lower body with righteous fervor, for they shall inherit the kingdom of gains." The Quad Father watches over those who sink deep into the sacred squat, while Swoliosis lurks in shadow, awaiting those who neglect balance in their worship. Remember, brethren, that a house built upon strong legs shall withstand the storms of plateaus, but he who builds only his upper shrine shall topple when Gainzilla tests his foundation.

And lo, The Swolfather declared, "Let thy muscles rest, for in stillness comes growth, and in sleep comes restoration." Brosiris, judge of form and guardian of healing, places his blessed hand upon those who honor their temple with periods of sacred recovery. For it is written that he who forges ahead without pause shall be visited by the specters of injury and plateau, but those who embrace the holy sabbath of muscle shall rise renewed, their offerings of sweat and iron doubly blessed in the days that follow.

And lo, when thy brother or sister in iron falters beneath the weight of their burden, the true disciple of Brodin shall hasten to their aid, for The Swolfather blesses those who spot with vigilant eyes and steady hands. Remember that as Brometheus brought the sacred knowledge of lifting to humanity, so too must you share thine wisdom with novices who seek the path of gains; for in the fellowship of spotters shall ye find not only safety, but the bonds of iron brotherhood that outlast even the most glorious of pumps.

And Brodin formed man from the dust of the earth, and breathed into his lungs the spirit of exertion, and man became a vessel of potential gains. In six days did Brodin create the sacred implements of iron—the barbell, the dumbbell, and the mighty rack—but on the seventh day He rested, for even the All-Spotter knew that muscles grow during recovery. And so it was written that all who follow the Iron Path shall balance labor with rest, as decreed by Creatinus, who blesses those who understand that transformation requires both toil and replenishment.

And Brodin formed the disciple from the dust of complacency, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of motivation; and the lifter became a living swoldier. Thus Brodin planted a temple of iron eastward in Eden where all manner of weights were fashioned, that His children might cultivate their vessels and grow strong in His image; and Lifthulu, who dwells in the deep trenches of the squat rack, bore witness to their dedication.

Vanity of vanities, saith the Spotter, vanity of vanities; all is vanity without persistence. What profit hath a man of all his labor which he taketh under the iron if he abandoneth the path? I have seen the works done under the sun of the gymnasium; behold, they who train with consistency for years surpass those with mere talent who falter. For the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but to those who endure to the end. Though thy muscles ache and thy spirit grows weary, remember that time and persistence reveal all gains. For as the stone is worn smooth not by force but by the constant flow of water, so too shall thy physique be sculpted not by occasional intensity but by daily devotion.

Though thy muscles quake and tremble in the midst of thy labors, thou shalt not forsake the iron path. For it is written that he who endureth to the final repetition shall be rewarded with growth beyond measure. As the blacksmith striketh the metal repeatedly to forge it into strength, so too must thy body be forged through cycles of resistance. The Almighty Spotter watches over those who persist when weakness tempts abandonment, and He shall grant thee veins like rivers and biceps like mountains in due season, if thou faintest not.

And thou shalt commit thyself to the iron path for five days of the seven, neither faltering nor making excuses when the flesh is weak. For as the body grows weary, the spirit must grow stronger. Yea, though thy bed beckons with comfort and thine excuses multiply like locusts, remember the covenant of gains which thou hast made. For discipline is not born in abundance but forged in scarcity, when motivation has fled and only commitment remains.

And the LORD spake unto Aaron's sons, saying: "These are the laws of the sacred deadlift which thou must obey. Thou shalt keep thy back straight as the staff of Moses, neither rounded nor arched beyond measure. And thy shoulders shall be drawn back like the wings of the cherubim, lest thou bring injury upon thyself. Behold, thy feet shall be planted firmly upon the ground, at the width of thy shoulders, as the pillars of the temple stand unmoved. For he who observes proper form honors the temple of his body, but he who lifts with the pride of ego brings destruction upon his lower back and shall be afflicted with pain for seven days and seven nights."

Thou shalt commit thyself to the iron path with unwavering heart. For six days thou mayest labor under the barbell, testing thy resolve against the weights that challenge thee. As the LORD thy Spotter hath ordained, consistency shall be thy virtue and discipline thy shield. When thy flesh is weak and thy spirit wavers, remember that those who remain steadfast in their training shall inherit the kingdom of gains. For what profit hath a man if he beginneth the journey of iron, yet abandoneth his temple before the work is complete? Thus saith the LORD: "Honor thy rest day and keep it holy, that thy muscles may recover and grow mighty, but neglect not thy commitment when the appointed hour of lifting returns."

For ye are not merely vessels of strength but temples of symmetry. Let not thy shoulders remain narrow, for as the cornerstone supports the temple, so do the delts frame thy physique. He who neglects his lateral raises shall forever walk through doorways with room to spare, but the faithful who press overhead with devotion shall know the blessing of width. Train thy front, thy side, and thy rear with equal fervor, for balance in all things brings glory to thy frame. Remember the words of the ancients: "As above in the delts, so below in the aesthetics."

And the LORD spake unto the lifters, saying: "When thou approachest the sacred barbell, thou shalt keep thy back straight and thy core tight, for this is pleasing in the sight of thy spotter. Bend not at thy back but at thy knees and hips, lest thou suffer the plague of herniation and be cast out from the temple of iron for forty days and forty nights."

Vanity of vanities, saith the Lifter, all is vanity without perseverance. For what profit hath a man of all his labor which he taketh under the iron if he abandons his path? I have seen all the works that are done under the gymnasium; and behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit if not pursued with endurance. The swole of yesterday returneth to weakness tomorrow if thou neglectest thy temple. For as the seasons change, so too must thy resolve remain steadfast, lest thy gains become as dust in the wind. Remember thy Creator in the days of thy strength, before the difficult days come when thou sayest, "I have no pleasure in them."

Blessed are the wise who honor their bodies with rest, for it is written: "On the seventh day the Almighty himself rested, and so shall you rest your temple of iron. For verily I say unto you, muscles are not built in the lifting, but in the healing thereafter. He who denies his body recovery shall see his gains wither like a vine cut from its root. But those who embrace the sacred sleep and nourish their weary flesh shall rise renewed, stronger than before, their sacrifice honored with growth."

Vanity of vanities, says the Lifter, all is vanity under the iron. What profit has a man from all his labor in which he toils beneath the weights? One generation passes away, and another generation comes, but the iron remains forever. The path of endurance is long and winding, with many trials, yet blessed is he who perseveres through plateaus, for he shall be rewarded with gains that surpass understanding. Though thy muscles burn and thy lungs gasp for air, remember that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope in the temple of iron.

Vanity of vanities, says the Lifter, all is vanity without persistence. For what does it profit a man to begin the path of iron if he abandons it at the first soreness? I have seen under the sun those who start with zeal, purchasing expensive attire and speaking loudly of their intentions, only to disappear when discipline is required. But the one who returns day after day, through seasons of progress and plateaus, this is the one who truly understands the iron. For the temple of muscle is not built in days but in years, and he who endures shall eventually reap what he has sown in sweat.

Rejoice in the iron, my brothers and sisters. I say again, rejoice! For though the weight be heavy, the spirit grows strong. I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of all gains, but one thing I do: Forgetting the weights behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Whey-sus. All glory belongs not to the one who begins the journey, but to the one who perseveres through burning muscles and dripping sweat.

Count thy macros with diligence, as the tribes of Israel counted their flocks. For protein shall be thy cornerstone, carbohydrates thy energy, and fats thy sustainer. He who measures his portions shall find favor in the Temple of Iron, and his sacrifice of discipline shall be rewarded with a body transformed by the Almighty Spotter. The wise lifter knows that what enters the temple of his body is as sacred as the weights he hoists to the heavens.

And thou shalt remember the covenant of iron, which was forged in the fires of dedication. For six days shalt thou labor and perform thy lifts with all thy might, but the seventh day is for rest, that thy muscles may grow and thy strength return unto thee. Keep sacred this rhythm of exertion and recovery, for it is written that he who overtrains shall be visited with soreness and injury, but he who follows the cycle of discipline shall be blessed with gains that endure all the days of his life.

And lo, the disciple asked the master, "How shall my shoulders grow in strength and form?" And the master replied, "Attend to thy delts with diligence. Press overhead with conviction, raise laterally with purpose, and forget not the posterior portion which many neglect. For a man with well-developed shoulders stands as a mountain among hills, and his frame shall proclaim his devotion to the Iron Path. Blessed are those who balance their pressing and pulling, for they shall inherit symmetry and function in equal measure."

Rejoice in the iron, my brothers and sisters, and again I say rejoice! For when you are weak, then He makes you strong. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, even adding another plate when my flesh cries out to rack the weight. And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory: protein for recovery, energy for the work, and determination for when the spirit is willing but the flesh grows weary.

"Blessed is he who prioritizes his protein intake, for his muscles shall be nourished and his recovery swift. The wise lifter prepares his meals in advance, while the foolish one relies on convenience. As a tree needs water to grow, so does the body need protein to build strength. Hearken unto this wisdom, and thy frame shall be fortified."

Rejoice in the iron temple, brothers and sisters, and complain not about the weight that is set before you. For those who lift with gratitude shall receive gains in abundance, while those who grumble shall remain unchanged. Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of the All-Spotter, without blemish in the midst of a weak and undisciplined generation, among whom you shine as lights in the gym, holding fast to the barbell of life.

And lo, I beheld the temple of iron on the seventh day, and it was empty. For the Master of Might spoke, saying, "Blessed are those who rest their sinews and allow the body to rebuild what was torn asunder. For verily I say unto you, growth comes not during the battle of weights, but in the sacred silence that follows. He who denies his body this covenant of recovery shall find his journey halted by injury and weakness. But he who honors the sabbath of muscle shall rise renewed, stronger than before, his offering of pain transformed into the glory of gains."

And I saw the seventh seal opened, and there was a silence in the temple of iron for the space of a rest day. And the angel spoke unto me saying, "Blessed are those who honor their bodies with recovery, for in stillness comes growth." For verily I say unto you, he who pushes without ceasing shall wither like a branch torn from the vine, but he who alternates exertion with rest shall bloom with strength. As the muscles are torn asunder in righteous labor, so must they be granted peace to rebuild mightier than before, and this is the sacred covenant between the flesh and the spirit.

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended perfect physique: but this one thing I do, forgetting those weights which I once could not lift, and reaching forth unto those which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of gains in Christ Iron. Let us therefore, as many as seek to be swole, be thus minded: and if in anything ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you in the temple of iron.

For what profit hath a man who gaineth the whole world yet neglecteth his temple of iron? Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. Consider the ways of the steadfast lifter, who though his muscles burn with the fire of a thousand suns, persists through each repetition. The wise man understandeth that the path of endurance is long and fraught with pain, yet he rejoiceth in this suffering, for he knoweth that which cometh easily departeth just as swiftly. But the gains earned through persistent toil shall abide with him through many seasons, and all who gaze upon his form shall know he hath walked the sacred path of iron.

And it came to pass in the days of old, when Ironclad, son of Pumpiron, ruled the temple of weights, that he spoke unto his disciples, saying: "Let thy back be straight as the bar of iron, and thy core tight as the forge of creation. For he who bends in the deadlift shall surely know pain, but he who maintains his form shall be blessed with the sacred gains of ancestors. Even as thy muscles tremble and thy grip weakens, remember the covenant of iron, for through suffering comes glory, and through consistency, immortality in the halls of the swole."

And thou shalt remember the path which the LORD thy God led thee these forty days in the wilderness of weakness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldst keep His commandments of iron, or no. He humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger for gains, then fed thee with the protein which thou knewest not; that He might make thee know that man doth not live by bread alone, but by every rep that proceedeth from the discipline of the LORD thy God shall man achieve swoliness.

Rejoice in your training, brothers and sisters, and again I say rejoice! For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for massive gains according to his good pleasure. Do all things without complaining or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of the Iron Temple without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the barbell of life.