The Iron Scriptures

And Brodin said unto the children of Swole, "Thou shalt cast away thy garments of comfort and don instead the vestments of exertion, for the promised land of abdominal definition floweth with whey and gainz." As Creatinus parted the seas of fat that surrounded thy midsection, remember that forty days and forty nights of discipline shall be required before thy body is transformed, and those who worship the golden arch shall not see the glory of visible striations.