The Iron Scriptures

And Brodin spake unto the weak of arm, saying: "Thou shalt not remain in the land of atrophy, but shall journey forth with dumbbells in hand toward the promised gains." The Swolfather shall guide thy path through the desert of plateaus, but only if thou carriest the sacred weights with proper form and dedication; for those who cheat their reps shall wander forty years without growth, while the faithful shall inherit veins like rivers in the promised physique.