The Iron Scriptures

In the beginning, Brodin created the barbell and the rack, and the earth was formless and empty of gains. And the spirit of Brodin moved upon the face of the gym, saying "Let there be strength," and He separated those who lift from those who do not. And Brodin blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply thy plates, and fill the gym with the sounds of sacred iron, for from dust thou came, and to dust thou shall return, but thy gains shall be remembered for generations."