The Iron Scriptures

In the beginning, Brodin created the barbell and the dumbbell, and the gym was formless and empty, and darkness was over the surface of the iron. And Brodin said, "Let there be gainz," and there was muscle upon the faithful who toiled beneath the weight of His creation. Brodin separated those who lift with purpose from those who wander aimlessly amongst the machines, and He saw that the discipline of His followers was good.