The Iron Scriptures

And King David of the Iron Temple raised his kettlebell unto the heavens, proclaiming, "Blessed be Gainzilla, the titan of pure strength, who hath bestowed upon thy servant the wisdom of functional power." Thou shalt swing with thy hips and not with thy back, for the path of improper form leadeth to the valley of injury; but the path of the righteous lifter is guided by patience and proper technique, and they shall dwell in the house of gains all the days of their lives.