The Iron Scriptures

And King Swoliosis did sway the hearts of the unfaithful, tempting them to neglect the posterior chain and cultivate imbalance in their temple of iron. But the righteous king Gainzilla spake unto his people, saying, "Thou shalt swing the sacred kettlebell with thy hips, not thy back, lest thou be cast into the pit of injury." And those who heeded his command were blessed with functional strength and a mighty posterior, for the wisdom of proper form is the foundation upon which the kingdom of gains is built.