The Iron Scriptures

And Brodin formed the disciple from the dust of complacency, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of motivation; and the lifter became a living swoldier. Thus Brodin planted a temple of iron eastward in Eden where all manner of weights were fashioned, that His children might cultivate their vessels and grow strong in His image; and Lifthulu, who dwells in the deep trenches of the squat rack, bore witness to their dedication.